"Virtual" Groucho Party 2005

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions-the curtain was up.
 
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
 
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing..if you can fake that, you've got it made.
 
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook.
 
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
 
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
 
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week.
 
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
 
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
 
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
 
I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
 
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